I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
