i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
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Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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