She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize