How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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