Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
