I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
