Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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