she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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