your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
