Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
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Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
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Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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