Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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