very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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