you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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