Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
