"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
