a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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