ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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