So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
