I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
