Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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