Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
