Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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