I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i believe in u and ur pee
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