the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
