If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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