We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
