I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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