Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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