IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize