i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I didn't notice because vodka
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
