When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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