If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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