worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
