lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
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I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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