1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
