I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
