I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
