After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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