Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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