This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
