Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize