On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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