Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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