i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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