I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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