I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Let's get the cat blown out
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
