So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
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Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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