Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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