I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
