Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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