ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think my nap took me to another dimension
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
