I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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