But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
