Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
