I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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