he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need to calm my uterus...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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