i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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