mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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